I Choose Not To Forgive!

What have they done? Is that how badly you have been hurt? Is their offence really unforgivable? I know you have an answer to the question. It’s okay to admit that you have been hurt. You can get angry at them as well, but it’s wrong if you choose not to forgive. I’m not judging you.

Remember, Christ forgave all of your sins, even before He knew you. Why shouldn’t you do the same? You need to forgive them, it might not be because they deserve it, but it’s for yourself. Have you forgotten that you need to go back to settle with your brother before you lift your Holy hands to drop an offering? It’s not my words, but the Scripture.

Read on to know why you need to forgive that person today.


It is a Command

See Ephesians 4:31-32 — “31 Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice: 32 And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.” (KJV), Colossians 3:13 — “13 Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye.” (KJV).

So forgiveness is like a life we are commanded to live. It’s like our default setting. Refusing to forgive is like being disobedient.

We Were Forgiven

Remember how Christ died for you. Aside from Jesus dying for us, You sin at times too, you pray to God and you get forgiven. Shouldn’t you extend the same grace to others?

See Matthew 6:14-15 — “14 For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you: 15 But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.” (KJV)


Forgiveness helps you heal from hurt, pains, betrayal, etc. You might feel you’ve forgotten what they did, but anytime you remember, it affects your mood and makes it go sour. It means you haven’t healed. However, when you truly forgive, you’ll heal totally.

It Sets You Free

When you refuse to forgive, it’s like caging yourself in what they’ve done. You’d never see the good in those people again or whatever they do. When you choose to forgive, you can live, walk, and act freely around those people because you know that you’ve not done any wrong. You’re at peace with all men.


I don’t know if you’ve ever noticed how your heart starts beating so fast when the person who wronged you is around or when a discussion about them pops up. Now, they wronged you, but you’re the one living in fear. Forgiveness will set you free from such fear. Romans 12:18 — “18 If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men.” (KJV)

You’re in Charge

When you forgive others, you’ve authority over your heart and not others. They do not live rent-free in your heart. That way, you don’t have to consider them when you need to decide over cases where they may be involved.

You live in the Present

Do you think you can move forward from those people or that issue? Of course, not. You’ll continually live there and that is why you get angry, worked up, fearful, etc when the issue comes up. You’re still living in the past and it’s dangerous for you. Forgive, so you can move forward.


  1. Acknowledge it: Stop living in denial, accept the fact that you’re hurt. What they did pained you. That is the first step to healing and forgiveness.
  2. Pray About It: See Luke 23:34 — “34 Then said Jesus, Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do. And they parted his raiment, and cast lots.” (KJV). Pray for those who hurt you, pray for the grace to forgive them and heal from the pains.
  3. Reach Out: If you can reach out to them to speak about it, do so. But, do not do it because you expect them to accept or apologise. If you cannot reach out to them, just talk to someone else about it- someone more experienced; an older person or a person you hold in high esteem.
  4. Set Boundaries: You forgave them doesn’t mean you’ve to be as close as you used to be or laugh with them, etc. You can maintain boundaries while you relate with them where necessary, if you perceive that the tendencies to hurt you again are still present.
  5. Give Your Pain To God: Let God comfort you and help you heal. This you can do by acknowledging your weakness, praying, asking for mercy and grace. Let it all out. Cry, Scream and Shout if you have to. However, let all of this be done in His presence.
    See Matthew 6:14-15 — “14 For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you: 15 But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.(KJV)



You have the right to hurt, get angry, show emotions, etc However, in all do not sin. So it’s about time you let go and Let God. Forgiveness is the best thing you can ever do, leave vengeance to God.

You won’t know it until you give it a trial. Take that bold step to start forgiving today. I pray that the grace to do that is released to you in Jesus’ name. Amen.

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